Category Archives: fiction

“I’m Going To Brooklyn”

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When I got home from my jog, Chris was back from band practice and making dinner.
“Your mom is bringing Zoe home in half an hour” he said.
I sat on a dining room chair and watched him in the kitchen. I couldn’t let this go on any longer.

“Chris, I can’t do this.”
“Can’t do what?” he said,
“I can’t act like everything is ok.”
“You never do”, he said, stirring something in a pan.

“Chris, I said, my heart pounding, “I cheated on you”.
He turned the stove off, put the pan down and walked over to the bar and leaned on it, looking at me.
Then he came around to the table and sat down on the chair next to me.
He looked really shaky and he was crinkling up his forehead. He put his hands on the table and turned his wedding ring round and round. “Odette, I know that,” he said.
“You know, how do you know?”
“Odette, you are completely easy to read and the worst liar ever. I always know what is going on with you and I always have. Of course I know you cheated on me.”
“Then why aren’t you mad?” I was astonished.
“Of course I’m mad. I just haven’t figured out what to do about it yet.”
“What do you think you are going to do?” I asked.
“I don’t know. Probably forgive you.”

I tried to think of any book or movie or person I had ever read or met who forgave cheating and couldn’t think of any, not one. Maybe he didn’t realize I slept with Jake. “This cheating wasn’t just a kiss” I said, almost spitefully.

“I don’t need details, Odette. I’m sure what I have imagined is probably much worse.”

I kind of doubted that but left it there. “I need to go away for a while,” I gasped.
“Where are you going?” he said, holding out his arms and shaking his head.
“I think I am going to go and stay with Astrid in Brooklyn.”
“You can’t stay for too long. Zoe will miss you too much,” he said.
“I want to bring Zoe”.
His face started to turn red. I could tell he was trying very hard not to get angry.
“OK,” he said, “Maybe you need a little bit of time to get back to normal. I can handle that. How long though?”
“Maybe a couple of months”, I said.
He looked around the house. “It will be very quiet here”, he said.

“Chris”, I said, gathering all my courage, or perhaps stupidity, “I think we should be separated when I go.”
“Separated? What the fuck does that mean?”
“I think that you should be free to do what you want and the same for me.”

Chris started to breathe heavy again and he stood up, fighting tears.
“So you want to go and fuck half of New York for a couple of months and have me be OK with that too?”
“If you are going to start yelling at me, I’m done with this conversation.”
“I just told you that I can forgive you for cheating on me and instead of showering me with gratitude you say you want to leave me and go to New York?” He paced back and forth, “I don’t think it is going to be for a couple of months, Odette. I think it is going to be forever!” he shouted with tears streaming down his face.
“What about our family?” He suddenly composed himself and put both hands on the back of a chair to rest. I just watched him, relieved and alarmed to see some emotion in him.

He sat down again and he looked at me. “What about our little family? What about Zoe? Do you really want her life to be like this? Don’t you want her to have two loving parents who stay together? She needs that more than ever now.”

He tapped his finger on the table, and then looked at me as if he had just figured out something very important. “Listen, it has been a really rough year for you. This stuff happens a lot when you loose someone. It throws everything off.

Grief screws you up, Odette, and I wasn’t supportive enough. This is partly my fault, which is why I have just let you do whatever you needed to do to find some sort of balance; even if that meant loosing you to the douche bag down the street for a few weeks.

Odette, we can get through this. We have been best friends for ten years. Remember when you were pregnant with Zoe and we went to all the appointments together and it was so amazing that we had a little baby growing in your belly. Remember? That is important…that is marriage, that is everything.”

“Yeah” I said. He was right.
“Can we try, Odette? Try and get back to how we were?”

I was quiet. What was happening here? Things were turning around somehow. “I think so I said,” and felt Brooklyn slipping through my fingers.
“Lets just try, just a little harder.” Chris was looking at me so intensely. I’d never seen him so full of emotion. I couldn’t bare it.
“Ok, Chris, I’ll try harder,” I said, not sure exactly what I was agreeing to.

Band Practice – By Chris

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The practice-space was stifling hot and Alex flipped on the air-conditioner with a drumstick. He had the middle of his light blonde hair stuck up in some kind of a Mohawk and he wiped the sweat out of his blue eyes that girls always freak out over. He threw the sweat-rag on a stool.

I grabbed my guitar off the hook on the wall, then leaned against the amp stack.”I don’t know if I should go on tour” I said to Alex.

“Why not?” he looked surprised. He tossed the drumstick on to the snare drum which promptly rolled onto the floor, and he lifted his bass from behind the keyboard stand.

“Pretty sure Odette is going to leave me.”

“No way. I can’t believe that dude,” he said shaking his head. “What are you going to do?”

“I’m wondering if I should I leave her first. I spoke with Dave’s brother and he said I would be able to keep all of the money from the band since I earned it before we were married. So, she would only get half of what I earn from the record store and maybe the house. I wonder how soon it would be for her to move that Asshole in? Did I tell you I met him? He’s a fucking kid! I am not even sure he is out of puberty yet. I am sure I saw a god damn zit on his chin.”

James came in sucking on a Slurpee and walked between us. “Who died?” he said.

“Odette’s doin’ it with some college student” Alex said. “And Chris is trying to figure out how to leave her with no money.”

“She’s got plenty of money.” I said. “She doesn’t need anything from me.”

James sat on the drum stool and started spinning one of the sticks between his fingers. He shaved his head yesterday so he kind of looks like a freak with his shirt off…so much skin it’s disturbing. “I thought you guys were the real deal” he said. “I can’t believe she’d do that to you.”

“I had a chance to confront her too.” I said. “Last week I came home early one day and he was in my god damn house. I just let it go though because she didn’t even fight for me. She didn’t deny anything, not really anyway. She ran to her room and acted all wounded and scared. She acted like I was the bad guy. She acted like Odette.”

“Did you punch the kid?” James slurped up some of the blue ice on the bottom of his cup. He pulled the straw out and some blue dripped onto his bare chest. He looked down, “Lick that up for me would ya?” he said to Alex.

“Shut up asshole,” Alex said, and threw him the dirty sweat-towel. Then Alex looked back at me. “So did you….punch him?”

“Nah, I went over there and I just couldn’t do it. I just didn’t have the anger or energy or something.”

James and Alex flashed  each other a look.

“And, I didn’t get it.” I said. “I mean, sure, he’s not ugly, but it’s not like I couldn’t get any girl I want!”

Alex laughed, “It’s true pretty-boy!” he said.”And you never even cheated on her on tour either did you? And you had like, a hundred opportunities.”

I shrugged, not really wanting to think too much about that. “That was a long time ago.” I said, “But now there’s that fine chick at Starbucks with the pink streak in her hair to match her bra strap that’s always hanging out.” They both nodded and murmured in approval. “She hasn’t charged me in like 5 months! I don’t do anything about it. Yet my wife falls for some asshole that is studying carbs or something.” I took my guitar pic out of my pocket and put it between my lips.

“You want me to go over there and beat the crap out of him? Maybe I should stuff a fucking sausage roll down his throat?” Alex said.

I smiled, enjoying the image then spat the pic out on the floor. “Thanks Bro, but what good would that do? And what about Zoe? The Mother always gets custody. I’ll have to be one of those weekend Dads. I’ll have to go to Chuck E Cheese.

“I’ll go to Chuck E Cheese with you!” James piped in.

“Maybe I’ll tell Odette we have to move. Maybe if we start over things can go back to the way they were. Maybe things will even be better. We can have another kid. We can have a fresh start.”

“You can’t move. The band needs you here.” Alex said and James threw his drumstick at him. “what…are you doing?”

“This isn’t about you.”

I looked at James and Alex. They had been there from the beginning. They knew how important this was to me.

“I can’t let her take Zoe from me. I can’t lose Odette.”

They both nodded grimly and I felt bad that I had bummed us all out.

Dave walked in with his guitar strapped across his chest ready to go.

“Lets do this!” I said. “I gotta get home in time to make dinner!” James shook his head at me and started to bang on the drums. I plugged in and listened to the loud hum resonating through the warehouse. Then I grabbed the mic, “Check check check”. I wasn’t saying, “Odette, Odette, Odette” anymore. She’d lost that privilege.

A Little Sugar (Did You Really Just Say That? Part-Deux)

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When Chris pulled up on his bike, Jake was walking out of the gate. Jake looked up at Chris. They seemed to lock eyes for one terrifying second. Then Jake turned his back and carefully, slowly latched the gate, then walked off putting his hands in his pockets.

I waited for Chris to say something to Jake but he didn’t. I waited for him to say something to me but he just hopped off his bike and walked it back to the shed. My heart was beating fast and I thought about following him back there. Instead, I went in the house and sat down at the dining room table and waited.

My cat was sitting on the table scratching behind his collar, bell jingling away like mad and I pushed him off the table and waited. I heard the side screen door creek open and Chris walked in. He walked past me without talking and into the living room. It was quiet. I waited for a couple of minutes, still quiet, so I got up and walked to the living room where he was sitting on the couch looking at his iPad.I just stood and looked at him and he sat, swipe swipe swipe on the iPad. I thought about just going to my room. Yes, that is what I would do. If he wanted to ignore this, then that was fine with me. I turned my back to head over to my room.

“Are you fucking him?” he said to my back.
I stood there and thought. I thought about what I would say if I weren’t fucking him.

“That is really insulting” I said, and almost laughed. I am a horrible person.
“Are you?” He said.

I found it suddenly really hard to say no. But if I said yes, that would be like pulling the needle out of the grenade. So I walked off to my room, deciding to deal with it later.The door crashed open and Chris’s face was red. It looked like he was going to start crying.

“If you don’t give me a straight answer, then I will got down the street and get it from him.”
“Go on then,” I said.

He looked at me like he couldn’t believe I just said that to him, like I must really not care about him at all. And and I suddenly regretted it too.

Not quite looking at him, I said, ”No, don’t go yelling at anyone while you are so mad. Please calm down. There really is nothing to be angry about.”

He walked out of the room and then I heard the screen door banging shut behind him. I thought that maybe I should follow him but I decided to just sit on my bed and wait. I don’t like confrontation.

A few minutes later I heard him come back in the front door while I was still sitting on my bed.

“Did you talk to him?” I called out.
“Yep!”, he answered from the kitchen. I heard glass clinking.
“What did he say?”
“He said he just came over to get some sugar.”
“What?” I was horrified. I thought back to when Jake thought it was really funny to wrap his arm around me and growl, ‘gimmie some sugar’ to totally annoy me. This was going to be a disaster.

“He said he came over to – borrow – a – cup – of – sugar.”

I was stunned. Confused. Did Chris believe that? Surely he didn’t.
Chris walked in the bedroom door. He was holding our measuring cup. “He gave me this back” he said.

I looked at the measuring cup. How the heck did Jake get that?

“He even offered to bring us some cookies later but I told him not to ever fucking come near our house ever again.”
“Oh.” I said. “Ok.”
And that was it.

I’m still sitting here in our room. Not sure what is going to happen next. I guess one of us has to go pick up Zoe. I really want to know how Jake got our measuring cup. It certainly doesn’t fit in his pocket.

Nostalgia – by Astrid

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I was walking by an old ice cream shop that night. Its crusty, washed-out character pulled me in. Blindly, I followed the call of nostalgia and ordered a cup of vanilla soft serve with rainbow sprinkles.

An older couple sat beside me. Both the man and woman looked to be in their eighties. Oddly, they talked about their day as if the other one didn’t spend it with them. I listened closer and the man asked the woman a question that I didn’t expect.

“Did you get my text message this morning?” he asked.

“Yes I did,” she answered. “It was nice. Thank you.”

He explained to her that he spent the majority of his day rolling cigarettes. He rolled two packs for himself and six for her.

I’m lost by this. I couldn’t help but invent a dreamy story of love lost, re-connections, and happiness ever after.

But then I observed a loneliness which made me think of Meliah and the senselessness of life’s directions. I managed a spoonful and the cold cream hurt the lump in my throat. I threw the rest away and walked out.

I’m gone until I feel my phone vibrate. It was a text message from Adam. He was in the city and wanted to visit.

It was really bad idea and I texted him back anyway.

Good to hear from u

I sent him the address to the bar. He said he’d be there in twenty minutes.

Club Jake

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(Scroll to the bottom to see the super-cute outfit.)

Jake didn’t blow me off. He came up and talked to me at the bar while Lisa was off dancing with her super cute (in the girliest way possible) friend, Bobby. I was drinking a Gin and Tanqueray and Jake was holding a glass of some sort of draft beer.

He smelled so good and he was wearing his crisp white T-shirt that hung so nicely over his chest. I smiled to myself remembering what he looked like without that shirt on. There was a very pretty girl with long, silky dark brown hair looking at him/us a few bar stools away. I wasn’t the only one who thought he was gorgeous. Normally I would have been totally intimidated by her. But as this was my second g&t of the night, I was confident enough to cut my eyes at her then settle in to chat with Jake Nead.

“Hi” he said. He had to lean right into my ear so I could hear him over the music.
“Hi” I said. I sipped on my straw, my heart pounding.
“I’ve been thinking about you all week.”
“It has been a crazy week,” I said.
“Yeah for me too. I have a question that has been bugging me. I’m just going to come right out and ask it.” I looked up at his eyes. I knew what he was going to ask.

He said, “You are on the pill, right?”

“Yes, of course,” I lied. I was suddenly embarrassed about everything between us. This was so out of control. I stepped away from him and looked for Lisa on the dance floor.
“Do you even know how amazing you are?” he said.
“ I think I am out of my ever-loving mind,” I murmured into my drink.
“What?”

That is when Lisa came up with Bobby. “Are you going to dance?!” she yelled in my ear.
“In a minute.”
“Who’s this?”
“He works with Chris” I said. Lie number two in 2 minutes. I was going to have to keep track of these.
“He likes you” she said in my ear. God she was observant.
“Let’s go dance” I said. So I left Jake there as Lisa and I went to completely let loose on the dance floor. We were glowing gold from the lanterns and Bobby was making me laugh so hard with his remarkable and wonderfully-silly dance moves.
My troubles were stripped by the loud music engulfing us until I looked up to see Jake looking at me from the bar with that intense gaze of his. What was I going to do with him? I knew what I wanted to do, so badly, so I told Lisa it was time to go.

She was really nice about it and we headed out to her car. I looked behind me as we left and Jake was just starting to talk to the pretty brown-haired girl at the bar. I almost turned around to go back and get rid of her. But Lisa is way too intuitive for me to get away with doing something like that. Oh the interrogation that would have followed. So I kept walking out of the club and internally scolded myself for being so unjustly and weirdly jealous.

So it was an interesting Saturday. If only, IF ONLY, I could stop thinking about Jake. But you know, I haven’t cried about missing Meliah since last Monday.

p.s. I wore this dress, this bracelet and these shoes, all from my fav store, Anthropologie.