We see the cute mom from down the street go for a jog every day and my roommate, Chad, is always pointing her out and saying stupid shit that I won’t repeat here.
I never really paid any attention to his window commentary until recently when he said, kind of in a different tone,“What is she doing this time?” I walked over to have a look, and she was just staring at the sky like a crazy person. Chad and I watched her from our living room window and he said, “I think she sees something in the tree…maybe a squirrel or something.” I didn’t see any squirrel. “She’s a weird one.” He looked at me and grinned. I couldn’t be bothered and went back to making my sandwich in the kitchen.
It has been quiet on our street. Most of the other students went home for summer session leaving lots of houses for rent. But she is out there by herself every day. Then yesterday when she came jogging I found myself running outside with Milo to play fetch with him, and maybe I would talk to her…and give Chad some information beyond what he got from window spying.
I got Milo’s big stick from under the apricot tree. He tried to grab it out of my hand right when I was picking it up. So I threw it before he could get it, out into the road that has been empty all summer, and when I looked to see where it was going I watched it sail right into hot mom’s head. I was like, FUCK no. Milo and I went running over there. She was sitting on the ground it hit her so fucking hard and she was holding her head. I thought maybe I should take her home to her house. But when I kneeled down and she looked up at me all surprised and shit, I decided I wanted her to come in my house instead. She looked so young to be a mom, younger than the girls my age even. And she had these big brown eyes. I felt this weird pang in my chest that I needed to protect her somehow after literally knocking her off her feet.
So I helped her inside and I’m not going to lie that I couldn’t tell if my heart pounding was from the stress that I just assaulted my neighbor, or because I was bringing inside the off-limits mom that my roommate had been talking about for the past 6 months.
She sat on our stupid couch and I grabbed a sock that had previously dropped out of my laundry hamper onto the floor near the kitchen and filled it up with ice. When I took it back to her I studied her for a while to see if she seemed really hurt, and she seemed ok. She was doing lots of looking at me and I know what that means because it happens often enough. But I was into this. I realized I was very into this and I decided that I wasn’t going to fuck up this random opportunity and did what I needed to do to keep her interest.
I realized I needed to be really nice to her. I know that sounds basic, but it can go either way. Often, if you are an asshole to a girl who is used to people fawning over her, that is what will make her go apeshit over you. In fact it is so easy it is boring sometimes. But I didn’t get the sense that being an asshole with Odette would get me anywhere, and anyway, I didn’t want to be. All I wanted to be with her was fucking nice as fuck. I turned on the 80’s dance music she liked. I even turned on Taylor Swift which sent Chad running since he knew what was I up to after that move and didn’t want to be in the house for any more of it. (As a side note, he’s not talking to me today).
I told her she was beautiful and she didn’t seem phased, like she already knew that. She wasn’t interested in compliments, or anything I had to say about her. She was weirdly interested in how I decorated my bedroom. That is about it. Neither of us did much talking. I shoved Milo out of the room and shut the door. And when I took away her drink and kissed her cheek and then her mouth it was electric in a way that hasn’t happened in a really long time…if ever, like that.
It was this weird balance of urgency and making sure she was comfortable. Thankfully she seemed quite comfortable. She had a smooth confidence that made everything very fun and it reminded me she must be old enough to know what she was doing pretty well. It was also a balance of keeping myself in check, that I didn’t go too far, but she was the one who wanted to and that was fine with me. I know when to go along with things and not question them.
Then afterwards was like this feeling that something really good had just happened. I had just shared my bed with a fucking goddess and she seemed to be feeling it too. There was a lightness that I didn’t have to suddenly be her boyfriend or owe her anything since I guessed she had her own life all set up already, and that probably didn’t include me. She was surprised and wide-eyed about it all as we lay there. And when she studied her left hand, looking at her thin, silver, sparkling ring, I figured she was pondering that she just cheated on her husband. I found that to be interesting that she had done that for me. Or maybe she just did it for herself? Either way it didn’t matter.
I watched her look at my ceiling like I had seen her look at the sky the other day and this time I was interested in what was going through her head. I couldn’t bring myself to be cheesy enough to ask her what she was thinking about though. I just held her hand and kissed each finger like she was my girlfriend or something. Then she gathered up all her shit to go, pulling her clothes on so quickly and rubbing her head a bit. We got each other’s names and she laughed that we didn’t know that before things got intense. I mentioned her coming back VERY soon and she laughed again. I wasn’t sure how to take that. And that was it. She was out the door. She didn’t continue with her jog. She walked the other way to go home. I guessed she must have had enough exercise for that morning.
It kind of sucks because I don’t usually feel like this about girls. In fact I don’t think I have ever felt like this and I know it is because she is off limits and isn’t interested in me. But I have this intense pulling in my chest that like I can’t get rid of. I need to see her again, to do that with her again, and the tugging is pissing me off.
Ungrateful Bliss 