Astrid's posts, cheating, love

Vision – by: Astrid

“The leaves on the trees are so beautiful. The most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

“No, it’s just the whisky,” he murmured, pulling me closer.

“No. It’s super amazingly beautiful,” I said looking up into the oaks of McCarren Park, feeling sky high while we lay in the grass. I twisted his hair between my fingers.

We must have fallen asleep. When we woke, I pulled the twigs out of my hair and shook the grass off my skirt.

As we started walking toward my apartment, I looked at my watch and it was nine in the morning. How did that happen?


I have no thoughts as I walk up the stairs alone. I feel blank. I walk through the door and set my bag down quietly. I grab a glass from the sink and fill it with water as quietly as someone could do when they are sneaking into their apartment absorbed in dread. I fumble through the junk drawer, pop an Advil, and take a sip.

I hear Jonathan in the shower so I speedily slide off my skirt and pull my tank top over my head. I dig deep in my drawer and slip on the softly faded Joy Division t-shirt. I dive under the sheets, close my eyes, and hold my breath.

The water stops and so does my heart.

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