I just saw something kind of weird outside of my window. I was sitting on the couch where I can see everyone walking down the street as they head over to the University on their way to class. I saw Jake walking with a girl. That is fine. But I recognized her. She was at his house, on her way out of the door a week or so ago when I sporadically went to visit him. She had smiled at me so I thought that she must not be a girlfriend. I also realized, from all they way over here on my couch, that she looks a lot like the naked girl in the picture that Jake drew, then gave me. Could she be the “model in his art class” or did he lie and actually give me a naked picture of his girlfriend? That would be completely and utterly sick. I hopped off the couch and ran to pull his drawing out of the book I had it folded up in and thought that yes, it was probably that girl. But when I really think about it I wonder if I’m just starting to get weirdly paranoid. If he would do something like that, then he is a lot darker than I ever gave him credit for. That would be such a twisted thing to do. Don’t you think? It makes me want to stay away from him. But maybe I am just being super paranoid and seeing things that aren’t really there. I’m so confused. I don’t think I mentioned our soccer debacle from last Saturday did I? I dressed Zoe up in her super cute outfit and everyone oohd and aahhd at her as she stumbled onto the soccer field. She did a little bit of running up and down the field when we begged her to but there was a butterfly that was much more interesting than the ball and she spent most of the practice time following the butterfly. I don’t know if we are going to bother this Saturday. I don’t think she is a soccer kind of girl anymore. When she was 18 months she was amazing at kicking the ball and running after it. I’m so angry that her regression would even take her soccer ability away from her. I can’t even think about it. I know it is the afternoon but since Zoe is sleeping, I’m going to take a nap too. Maybe when I wake up things will look brighter. The unexpected twists and turns of life make me tired. I never feel sorry for myself though. I deserve any negative stuff that happens to me, and worse.