I have been thinking about the intricacies of infidelity. I gave my phone to Zoe to play with so I was left listening to the radio. Driving through the south, on the way to St. Augustine, I was bombarded with country after country music station and finally settled on that, “Maybe Next time he’ll think before he cheats” -song.
I tried to imagine why the singer (I think her name’s Carrie, right?) was so angry and how/if her situation was different from Chris’s. I guess Chris knows I’m not out on the prowl. I don’t know. Maybe Chris just doesn’t get angry at me easily? In fact he is never angry with me. I was about to say that there was no defacing trucks in our situation, but that’s not exactly true is it? Well, at least no baseball bats were involved. But things are always much more complicated than you imagine they are going to be.
My phone buzzed in Zoe’s hand and when we stopped at a traffic light in the middle of nowhere, I reached back and took it from her. The text from Chris read, “On airplane, first class, drinking wine that does well at altitude. Wish u were here.”
I texted back, “Dave will need that wine on the bus too.” I gave the phone back to Zoe and smiled. I hoped he would show that one to Dave. it was so weird how Chris was saying he wished I was there, taking me out on special dates and giving me passionate kisses on the way out of the door. I wondered where our relationship would be if I hadn’t met Jake. Maybe I’d be in NY with Astrid by now. There were no songs on the radio about cheating rebooting a relationship… “Maybe next time he’ll think before he ignores.”
As we drove through national forest after national forest we were able to get one station that wasn’t country and the r&b song cracked and crackled. But I caught a line that said the grass isn’t greener on the other side. It’s greenest where you water it. I thought about that and supposed Chris already knew that. He is a smart guy. He seems to get what he wants simply by being nice to people. And I suppose that is how he is getting me to fall in love with him…or something, again. Everyone at Zoe’s school likes him. When I go there to pick her up I don’t really talk to anyone. But the one time Chris and I went together for her preschool open house, he said hi to everyone, even people I didn’t recognize. Zoe’s teachers seemed to glow when they talked to him. I didn’t mind because it took the social pressure off me and Chris gets off on that stuff. He is our family ambassador.
I thought about how I liked the anonymity of Jake. Granted, he stands out because of his good looks, but he is no approachable ray of sunshine. Chris in a way, even though he has sworn his whole life to me, is everybody’s. With Jake, even though he has sworn nothing to me, in a way, is all mine.
Well not anymore.
Oh well. This is going to be my month of no guys… Just me, Zoe, Aunt Luna, the sand and the ocean. No drama, no way.
Sent from my iPhone