My phone rang again and it. It was Evan, calling me back just as I has asked him to and I put the phone to my ear and said, “Hey.” It was very quiet this time.
“What’s up? He said…what were your other, um, questions?”
“Where are you now?”
“In a hotel in Soho.”
“Cool! Well, I need a guy’s perspective on this. This is what I’m troubled about; why did it take Chris so long to realize he wanted to be with me? Apparently that is really typical. When I talk to friends who go through breakups, the guy is always OK at first while the girl slogs through the pain. Then when she finally is back to some kind of normalcy, the guy suddenly wants her back and either gets shut down or she takes him back, which ruins all her hard work of getting over him. Why do guys do that?”
He laughed, “Well, Odette, I don’t know. Maybe because at first, for the guy, logically, it is like the problem has been solved, time to move on. But then after a while you realize that you don’t’ actually feel better, there is no new girl that can take the other one’s place, and “the guy” starts to realize that maybe the breakup was a terrible, terrible idea.”
“Have you done that before?”
“You regretted it?”
“Yes. Except she broke up with me. But I shouldn’t have let her. I knew she still loved me.”
“Did you ever get over her?”
“Oh. Would you take her back now?”
“Well, I just did.”
I sat there on my bed, utterly confused.
“What do you mean? Does she live in England?”
“She came with me to England.”
“That doesn’t make any sense, ” I said, “The only person who came with you to England was, Luna…LUNA! What? Are you joking? Gross!!”
“What do you mean, gross? How can you be so fucking rude, Odette?”
“She’s my aunt and you were totally hitting on me for months. Gros Evan. That is horrible!”
“Listen, Odette. Luna and I were broken up and she thought I would be good for you. She thought I needed someone younger. But I tried but you were so full of drama that I couldn’t deal with it. Sure you are very attractive which I guess put me over the edge a couple of times. But the reality of it all is that I am always going to love, Luna.”
I started to laugh. I couldn’t help it. “So full of drama? Whatever. And Luna? She’s so much older than you,” I said. “It’s too weird.”
“She’s only 12 years older than me” he said.
I was quiet. “Really?”
“Oh yeah. I guess you are right. You are 37 and she is 50. But that’s 13 years, genius. And doesn’t it trouble you that she has gray hair?”
“She’s had her beautiful, natural silver hair since she was thirty-eight years old. Really though, Odette, as you get older age differences matter less and less. I mean, look at you and Jake. He is just a kid at 22 but that didn’t stop you.”
“He looks older than me.” I said.
“Listen, this isn’t a contest. I just thought I should tell you. Luna actually wanted me to wait so that she could tell you when we got back, but I didn’t want you freaking out on her so I decided to give you some time to process it.”
“I wouldn’t freak out on her. Alothough I find it to be very disturbing that she was encouraging you to date me, if she use to go out with you. There is something utterly demented about that.”
“She just really likes both of us, and wants us both to be happy. I finally got her to realize that I am happiest when I am with her.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Was this a joke? Were they pranking me or something? “You’re not suddenly going to say, ‘just kidding’ are you?”
“No, but I might start to get really pissed off at how vein you are that you can’t imagine that I would like Luna better than you.”
I smiled, this was SO WEIRD. “OK!! I said, well, I’ll let you get back to your Soho hotel.”
“Well, yeah, OK” he said. “Bye Odette.”
I stared at my phone, completely stunned bye…Evan.