I took my hands away from my face and looked up to see Chris peering over me. “What’s up?”
“I totally blew it,” I said. “Why do you even let me out in public?”
He looked confused, but amused. “What happened?”
“I just can’t seem to act like a normal human being. I can’t help but say things because I think it would be interesting if I actually said them.”
“You leave your filter at home?”
“You think I have a filter?”
“Actually, you are right. You don’t have a filter at home either. Listen, who cares about that job. You don’t even need one.”
“I just don’t like relying completley on you. I like feeling like I am buying myself stuff with my own money.”
“You don’t need a job for that.”
“If you are thinking of my parent’s money, that doesn’t feel great either. I really want to do something where I feel like I’m worth something.”
He sat down next to me and I put my legs over his lap. He reached over for my foot and began to rub it and I lay back with my head on the armrest of the couch and closed my eyes.
He said, “You don’t think that being home with Zoe is worth something?”
“Of course it is” I snapped. But I don’t know how do do anything like cook good meals or clean the house.”
“Well, why don’t you take cooking lessons?”
“That doesn’t sound fun.”
I opened my eyes and he looked a little dismayed. “I’m no house wife,” I said.
“I’m not asking you to be,” he said. “I just don’t like it when you complain about something but don’t have the desire or motivation to take any actions to fix it.”
We were quiet for a minute and he rubbed my other foot.
“I got that guy to sing to me though.”
“The guy who was interviewing me.”
“I don’t know how you get people to do the things they do around you, Odette,” he said. “Who cares if you blew the interview. I bet that guy does’t sing to people every morning. It is refreshing to be surprised by people every now and then.”
I nodded, I was starting to feel a little less humiliated. Then I remembered how much he offered me. “He wanted to pay me $9 per hour.”
“Well, it’s better than nothing” Chris said.
“It is a complete insult, as if I were a college student scrambling to make enough money to buy pizza and cute dress for Saturday night.”
“Some people live off that,” he said.
I nodded and felt kind of bad. “I know.”
“Weren’t you going to teach dance a while ago, for Evan’s sister?”
“Yeah, that never seemed to pan out,” I said. I sat up and sat next to him, feeling a bit dejected.
“Why don’t you open up your own studio on the beach?” he said.
“Do you realize how much work that would take?” I said. “I want something like my last job, where I wrote a few silly things about clothes and got paid tons of money for it.”
He sighed. “Well, ask them for your job back,” he said.
That hadn’t even occurred to me and I suddenly brightened up.
“I’m gonna try that!” I jumped up and hurried to my room to pull my laptop out onto my bed. Everything in life was like a relationship. If you get ditched because you acted badly, you apologize and ask to be taken back. Now…the best way to apologize without sounding like I couldn’t live without them…