It is the first day of summer...and my first summer ever without my older sister. She died in a car accident 11 months ago. She was 9 months pregnant. Whenever I see something exceptionally beautiful, I think it's her.
I live with my 2-year-old daughter and my husband who is tired of my grief, in a small house in College Town USA. It is a cute "cracker" house. My parents own it and rent it out. We are renting it from them for now at a good price. I love the front door.
...blessings that is. I suppose "ungrateful bliss" means I know I have an amazing life but I still choose to make mistakes and I am realistic enough to know that my actions could jeopardize my happiness and the happiness of those I love the most. I'm still reeling about something that happened the other day. … Continue reading I Do Count Them…
It is Saturday morning, about 5am. I couldn't sleep...so I'll write. Then maybe I'll be able to sleep. I had a really good reason for cheating on my husband 2 days ago, beginning with getting hit on the head with a stick by the guy I cheated with. The college student was actually playing catch … Continue reading A Temporary Dream Come True – by: Odette
When I was a blonde, pigtailed, obnoxious but polite dancer-child, my activist Grandma had a tube of Smarties (from the England aisle at the grocery store) in her purse. They are like MnM's, like colorful, chocolate jewels that melt on your tongue. There was only one left and Meliah wanted it. My Grandma said, "Well, … Continue reading Like Jewels That You Can Eat
I was driving Zoe to a doctors appt on campus. It was 3:00 in the afternoon and I was in a bad mood. I was sad because... I didn't even know why. It was a useless, sadness-for-no-reason feeling which was erased from my life after what happened next. I thought about calling Meliah to talk … Continue reading It is So Sad I Can Barely Write This
I waited as she had her conversation with the plumber. It lasted for a long time. I breathed through it and held it together and held it together as I felt anger starting to burn while I waited and gasped. "OK, what's up?" she said. "Meliah was killed in a car accident." "What?" I found … Continue reading What’s Done is Done
Jake was in his hammock in his front yard again this morning. When I came back from dropping Zoe off at camp I just waved at him as I drove by. I know he wanted me to stop because he started to get up when he saw my van but then just watched me drive … Continue reading Boy In The Hammock
He was out there again this morning. I just drove by him. I'm too nervous to even look at him again, never mind stop the car and talk to him. Talk about a relationship regressing. Speaking of regressing, something kind of weird...Zoe hasn't called me mama for a while. It has probably been about 2 … Continue reading Regressing
OK, after I wrote that post yesterday evening, something crazy happened. My cat was mewing to come in the back door but when I let her in she went shooting through my legs like she'd seen a ghost...more like the Hound of the Baskervilles. When I looked out to see what was bothering her I … Continue reading Dog Tricks